Feeling Oh So Proud

>> Thursday, September 1, 2011

The change in me over the previous years was nothing less than remarkable. I had grown from an insecure … no self esteem … robotic self to a confident person of worth … and a deep thinking individual. So this journey by car from Washington to California … all by myself … was proof to me that I had pretty much arrived.

That’s a long trip and required stopping to eat. I pulled my car into a parking spot and entered the restaurant. No longer did I quake when I needed to eat alone in public. It felt good to know how to peruse the menu and decide for myself what I wanted to eat.

A good book to read … a good lunch to consume … and it was time to hit the road again. But I chose to use the restroom before heading back to the car. As I traversed the restaurant from the restroom to the front door I was delighted so many people smiled at me. They seemed very friendly, so I tried to make eye contact with everyone.
Opening the driver’s door … lifting my foot to climb in the car … that’s when I noticed it. The end of the toilet paper roll had stuck to the bottom of my shoe … and I had left a trail behind me on my way through the restaurant.

Ever had a moment like that?

I will never have to see those people again, I thought as I drove on down the highway. But my thoughts ricocheted from embarrassment to relief it was over to wondering exactly how it happened. Did I have gum on my shoe? I will check later. Just get me out of here.

Then God showed up … and we had a little talk. Or rather He talked and I listened. Did I really think I got to where I was in my growth without help? Did I not know that He had been there as I took those baby steps toward wholeness?

Years ago I read a book entitled I Ain’t Well, But I Sure Am Better by Jess Lair. That’s exactly how I felt. Life is a journey toward wholeness. No more feeling I’d arrived. That doesn’t take away the change in me. I’m still confident and deep thinking. But even though I did put some hard work into the change, the credit goes to Someone who loved me through it.

“Looking back over what has been accomplished and what I have observed, I must say I am most pleased—in the context of Jesus, I'd even say proud, but only in that context.” Romans 15:17 (MSG)


5 comments:

Lisa Mikitarian September 1, 2011 at 7:52 AM  

Way to make me cry and laugh at the same time.

Kimberly Russell September 1, 2011 at 5:12 PM  

Oh, haven't we ALL had those moments of horror...too many to count. Love the attitude!

Shelley Ledfors September 1, 2011 at 6:51 PM  

I really enjoyed this, Joy! I think we've all done that, or similar things. And I loved the lesson you brought in, too. :-)

Joy Bach September 1, 2011 at 7:21 PM  

Thanks Kim and Shelley. I can laugh now.

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