>> Saturday, September 5, 2015
When John and I travelled, I always gave him the top drawer in the dresser. He was not very limber and it was easy for me to bend down. I did it willingly. The other day someone mentioned to me how I had catered to him in the last few years. My answer was quick and sure.
"I know I did...and I'm glad".
I've been in relationships where I had no value and the other person expected me to acquiesce. But in this situation I gave up nothing of me. I felt good about my decision to honour him.
And now he's gone. I can have whatever drawer I want. And I have no regrets.
I knew my husband's days were numbered. But so are yours and mine. We have no idea when that limb might fall across our house or the car coming toward us might change lanes and hit us head on. You could possibly kiss your spouse goodbye in the morning and never see them alive again.
Believe me, when you look at their dead body, you don't want to be filled with regrets.
John and I held hands. In public. At restaurants. A few years ago a waitress asked us if we were newlyweds. He squeezed my hand and smiled at me as he told her “yes”. We told each other "I love you" every day. Our usual response to each other was "more". But in his last days, John's response was "I know".
Just writing that made me cry. It filled me with warm fuzzies to hear that he knew.
In the scheme of life, some things just aren't worth squabbling over. Live so you can be guilt free and have no regrets.
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.” I Corinthians 13:4 (MSG)