Fear Plugs Addendum

>> Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The time for terror had arrived. My intestines let me know they didn’t like this idea. Tears threatened. My heart rate accelerated. And we hadn’t even reached the elevator to take us to the ground floor so we could walk to the beach.

Our friends, Phil and Anita, and my husband, John, were accompanying me on this journey. I knew John understood the depth of my fear. It was difficult to make others realize the battle within me.

Their talk buzzed over my head. My focus was on taking the next step…and the next one.

And then there it was…wave after wave rolling in. I could hear my heart beating in my ears…along with the roar. The tears flowed. I was so tired of this. I stopped walking and stood facing the ocean.

“I need you to pray.”

And so the prayers began and were completed. Yet still I stood…facing my dreaded foe. I was ready to stand there for hours…awaiting the calm. Gradually my heart rate slowed and the tears dried up. I raised my head and stared at the restless movement. No clenching in my gut.

“Ok, we can walk now.”

Any time I have ever been to the beach, my spot in the line of people walking along the water’s edge was the furthest away from the ocean. No logic there. But it gave me a buffer. Yet here I was, walking the closest to the water…and actually carrying on a conversation. My brain was functioning again. When we turned and headed back, I remained on the side next to the water.

No tears.  No pounding heart.  But for me the test would be the next time.

I’m delighted to say I returned to the beach with a smile on my face.  Tears of gratitude…not fear…rolled down my cheeks. The raging tumult within me had been stilled.

“He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness…” Psalm 107:29-30 (NLT)


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