One Step at a Time

>> Saturday, August 29, 2015

As I reached for the t-shirt I planned to wear, memories washed over me. John stood beside me when I purchased this shirt. We were standing in front of the booth…sunny skies…gentle breeze…music seeping into the air from all around us. We deliberated over our choices and decided to not get the same one. That way we could advertise our adventure in two different ways.

I hold the shirt in my hand and think, “How am I supposed to do this…keep going on without him?”

It seems I am slowly erasing him.

His iPad and iPhone lay on the kitchen counter for weeks. On a regular basis I would charge them. Why? And then a friend offered to help me transfer all of his memories from those two devices to his computer.

See?  It’s still his computer.

The building that housed our business is now for sale. I remember how we stretched our faith to buy that land and build on it. We did it together. It’s just one more thing for me to get rid of.

Each day I’m given a choice. Do I wallow in grief and pity? Or do I bravely face the future…without him? As I sit here typing these words, I look to the left where I have a plaque hanging on the wall…one he gave me before he died. Good words. 



I am taking this one step at a time. And when I falter, I have my relationship with Jesus to turn to…and many friends to help hold me up. 

“Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
 Jesus wept.
 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” John 11:34-36 (NIV) – at the death of Lazarus


9 comments:

Catrina Bradley August 29, 2015 at 3:38 PM  

Joy, I think of you and pray for you daily. This post is beautiful - gave me goosebumps. Thank you for sharing your life with us so we can walk with you through your pain.
Love
Cat

Joy Bach August 29, 2015 at 8:50 PM  

Cat I love you. I can feel the love and prayers of many.

Rich Korb August 30, 2015 at 8:45 PM  

The Lord is Joy's strength and her shield; Joy's heart trusts in him, and he helps her. Her heart leaps for joy, and with Joy's song she praises him. Ps. 28:7

Unknown September 5, 2015 at 4:03 PM  

Oh m, what pwoeful thoughts.... one step at a time.... each step a loss and yet ironically, great gain. I am strengthened by your journey. God bless your little heart.

Unknown September 5, 2015 at 4:04 PM  

Oh m, what pwoeful thoughts.... one step at a time.... each step a loss and yet ironically, great gain. I am strengthened by your journey. God bless your little heart.

Unknown September 5, 2015 at 4:04 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown September 5, 2015 at 4:05 PM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Joy Bach September 5, 2015 at 6:08 PM  

Thank you Anita. Yes...a loss and gain at the same time. Love you.

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