Christmas Day is Not the Hardest

It wasn’t that I didn’t desire to decorate for Christmas.  The meaning of Christmas is very dear to me.  And over the years I’ve been collecting nativities, even buying one in Bethlehem.  Yes, the one in Israel.  So, I really wanted to be able to see my special decorations.  

But it meant I would have to deal with memories.  

This is my fifth Christmas without John.  And most of the time I’m doing very well.  We never decorated a tree together; that was my thing.  And in the past ten years we’ve only put up one tree; our first year in this new home.  John declared he wanted it to look like a picture in Better Homes and Gardens.  He bought the tree, the decorations, the lights…and did it all himself.  

We had our Better Homes and Gardens tree.  

But in this home, he did help with the decorating; especially putting up the wreath.  Today, as I removed it from its packing, I remembered the conversation we had when purchasing it.  He had such a dilemma.  Just couldn’t decide which one he wanted.  I held up wreath after wreath while he studied it.  

He finally chose one.  And now I have to put it up.  It’s the wreath that gets me every year.  

Christmas Day is not the hardest day.  After the children became adults, the hustle and bustle of gifts and secrets and Christmas cookies and handmade ornaments faded into memories.  Wonderful memories.  When it was just John and me, that day was very low key.  Just quiet time together.  Some Christmas music. Some Christmas movies (although he slept through them).  Several years our daughter, Lorri, joined us.  She was okay with low key.  

Maybe for others who have lost a spouse and now live alone, Christmas Day is the hardest.  Everyone deals with grief differently.  As for me, my hardest day is over.  I can now enjoy my handiwork; and look forward to this Christmas season.  

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord.”  Luke 2:10-11 (NIV)