>> Sunday, May 8, 2011
I knew I could never lead a session like this. This kind of stuff just didn’t work. Then we were told to create in our minds the image of the person who had hurt us.
I knew it wouldn’t be my ex-husband or his mother. I had that covered. As I mentally turned around, imagine my surprise to see my mother standing there; holding the ends of some ropes in her hands … ropes that had me bound and bleeding.
This could not be. I had no problem with my mother. Or did I?
Somehow I got out of that room and found a spot away from the crowd. I felt beaten and bruised. My mother!
I hadn’t arrived at all. I was just beginning … again.
Recovering from my new insights took many months. Two steps forward and one step back … and then sliding all the way to the bottom to start over. The thought resounded in my head … my mother.
Forgiveness is a strange process. There are many definitions of forgiveness. The one I heard the most was, “Forgive and forget”. Yet, how could I just forget the first 30 years of my life?
I envisioned traveling back to
to confront my mother. The more I thought about it the more I knew it just wouldn’t work. She was in her 70’s. She had no idea she needed forgiveness. I would have to do it another way. Kansas
As each memory swept through, I consciously chose to forgive. Some memories returned again and again. I still chose to forgive. Over the weeks and months, I made the choice to forgive repeatedly.
“Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Roman 12:17-19 (MSG)