>> Friday, September 2, 2011
- Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
- My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
- You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- I’m not a complete idiot … some parts are just missing.
- NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
- God must love stupid people; He made so many.
- Ever stop to think, and then forget to start again?
- Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it.
- Stupidity is not a handicap. Park somewhere else.
- They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
- A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
- The trouble with life is there’s no background music.