Blessed Are the Cracked

1. Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.

2. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

4. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

5. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

6. I’m not a complete idiot … some parts are just missing.

7. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

8. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

9. The gene pool could use a little Chlorine.

10. Ever stop to think, and then forget to start again?

11. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it.

12. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

13. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park somewhere else.

14. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

15. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

16. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

17. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

(Author Unknown)