Embarrassing Moments and More

>> Friday, October 14, 2011

“A mother was taking a shower when her two-year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for a camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"  

******

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB?’  

*****

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."  

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.  

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket; the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"  

She had a shoe box with her; she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."  

"Yes," the wife said, "I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."  

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"  

"I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check." 

2 comments:

Joanne Sher October 14, 2011 at 7:50 AM  

All three funny, but that last one is PERFECT. hehe.

Sherry October 14, 2011 at 8:38 AM  

That first story hit a nerve. For months a guy at church would have a private meeting with my husband about my hemlines. Long story short, it wasn't the hemline at all. It was what I had been revealing four feet up on a platform. Still mortified but at least we can laugh about it now.

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